OK, I know this is going to sound silly, but are there real life incubi? I am half kidding of course, but only half. It seems that one of my coworkers has a very strange effect on the men in the office. I and the other women seem to be immune, or at least mostly immune to this strange attraction. I have had a friend agree that my lack of murderous urges towards this individual may indicate I am not totally immune since that may be as good as it gets where I am concerned.
The guys all flock around, eager to share their stories every morning and every break, after a weekend is absurd since I can hardly work for all the gawkers flocking to their desk. When the object of their affection is out of the office whether for work or vacation they constantly ask each other if they have gotten a call or text, the invent reasons to email and call several times a day. Invites for lunches and after hours drinks are constant and refusal is met is disappointment and attempts to extract promises to join them soon.
So tell me, who are you picturing? A 20 something young woman, blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs and DDD breasts? Maybe a tall, lithe, red-head that would be a shoo-in to be cast as a Feanorian in a film adaptation of the Silmarillion? Maybe a 6’4” gangly father of three with a pot belly and in desperate need of a haircut? Wait, what?
If you guessed number three you are correct! The object of all this attention is a 39 year old man with three children and a wife. While I do not have gay-dar exactly, I really do not get that vibe off of him at all so that is not the main factor. Yet, every freaking man in the office is obsessed with him. There is nothing extraordinary about his appearance. He is tall, but so are a lot of guys. He is only slightly overweight, so that is better than some of them but certainly nothing to write home about. What is the attraction? He is one of the few competent people in the department, and that is why I have not planned how I want to kill him yet, but is that enough to get all the men interested? I would like to say he was some kind of natural alpha male, but that is not the case at all, he is quiet, dorky, and not really into leading as far as I can tell.
Now to the point of why this is relevant at all to me, other than it is sometimes really amusing and sometimes really annoying. I have been wrestling with an issue I had with one of my main characters in Kryos. I say mine because we each had our favorites that we did the primary writing for. Ezra and Miika were mine; Hunter and Winter were Idun’s. My issue was with Ezra (I had many many issues with Miika, but that is another story.) was his insane appeal to everyone he met. It is hinted at in the end why that is, but I sometimes wondered if it was just too over the top. Too silly. No one is THAT appealing and if they were surely it would be noticed and commented upon making him more visible than he wanted. I worried that I had pushed too far, even for something that is related to the incubi (is that a spoiler? Probably not, I imagine none of you have read Kryos, I am not that vain.).
But this bizarre drama being played out at work has proven that these people do exist and most importantly, everyone is blind to what is happening. I got snarky one day (who me? No way!) and said something snide about it to one of the guys and he got on board with that everyone was acting odd, but refused to see it in himself. This is the guy that calls me daily when he travels to check on his man crush. It is nearly invisible. Ezra would not have been exposed or put in danger by it. I accidentally wrote it right. Or maybe not accidentally, this has been going on for a while, maybe it was subconscious. Thank you office man-crush. I hope you enjoy being written into a novel with gay sex, violence, and angst!