July 9th – Camp NANO

Prompt: A night at the museum

Character: A crazed fan

“This is absurd,” Gerald looked at the priest and Simon like they had each grown a second head. “Both of you watch entirely too much television.”

“I agree, this is getting absurd.” Simon said. “We have to get his memory back.” He looked meaningfully at the priest.

“The wipe has never lasted this long before, Simon, I cannot explain it.” The man in the priest’s robes looked a little scared, and this scared Gerald more. He still had no idea what was going on, all he knew was that these two lunatics were keeping him captive in the deepest store rooms of a museum and that everyone he knew thought he was dead.

“Let’s go over this one more time,” Simon smoothed the crumpled paper in front of him against the table. It was in sad shape since Gerald had wadded it up and thrown it across the room in a fit of anger and rage more than once. He could not believe he was going to go through with this. He just hoped and prayed he would find a way to get away from the two mad men.

“The museum closes at 6 tonight, the night guard always takes his nape in the Victorian furniture exhibit at 7:30 pm.

“You’ve told me this,” Gerald snapped.

“I have no way of knowing how much your memory has been damaged this time, you will have to bear with me.”

“You keep talking like you know me,” Gerald eyed him suspiciously. “There is no this time because there is no before time.

“Once we get you home, I promise this will all make sense.” The fake priest’s voice was soft and soothing, it made Gerald want to trust him so badly. The word home resonated in a place deep inside him, conjuring images of a strange place he had never seen. Frightened, Gerald shook his head hard.

“We will give the guard 15 minutes to get to sleep and then we can move. The cleaning crew will be off duty and the alarms are not set in this part of the building so he can get his nap in.” Simon kept speaking just like no one else

“I know, I know,” Gerald felt peevish.

“I have to go to the Egyptian exhibit and find the sarcophagus with the Niburu symbol on it. You know how f-ing Stargate this sounds? You could have tried to be more original.”

“Just because there are some accidental accuracies in the movie, it in no way invalidates our plan.” Simon’s accent had begun to shift away from vaguely European to something much more foreign.

“I was referencing the television series, which was by far the superior story.” Gerald used to have this argument with Andy. Andy didn’t like anything that required he remember a thread or plot line for more than a couple episodes, and he really hated the, admittedly faux, science. It made him feel stupid. “You have to be blind to think that half ass movie was worth the money put into it. The fanfiction is even better, it really helps you dig down deeper into the mythos of the Stargate universe.”

“Cool your Jets, fanboy.” Simon could not care less about the movie, the TV series, or god help them all, fanfiction. “We have a very important job to do, Gerald and you being a crazed fan of some science fiction garbage is not helping.”

“It isn’t garbage, you stuck up prig.” Simon actually smiled at the insult.

“That’s more like it, brother. Just go sit over there, it is already almost 6. We will make our first attempt tonight.”

“First attempt?” This was news to Gerald.

“It takes time to get it re-calibrated after it sits unused for so long,” the priest said calmly. “And it does not help that they actually rearranged the exhibit last year. This may take a couple tries to get it pointed in the right direction.”

“It is not as simple as Brian makes it out to be.” Simon glared at the now named priest. “This may well take many tries and we will only get one shot a week, so we need to make each effort count.”

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