July 3rd – CampNANO

July 3rd

Prompt: A fortuitous Turnip Harvest

Character: An animal.

“Give me a break!” Gerald had definitely had enough. This was getting beyond absurd. “Nibiru? You can’t think of anything better than an imaginary planet? Why not Vulcan or Tattooine?”

“Seriously?” The giraffe was back, munching on something new. Gerald had no idea what, maybe an azalea, but he had never been very good with plants.

“You are asking me that?” Gerald tried to stare down the two story animal, but was unable to keep his head tilted back that far long enough.

“Don’t antagonize him, Jerry,” Simon said calmly. “He is not thinking clearly yet.”

“Yet? Don’t you mean anymore?”

“I don’t care how you are thinking, I just want to be back to my real form now!” Jerry sounded petulant and briefly, Gerald wondered if it was unwise to piss off a giraffe. Then the absurdity of that question hit him and he felt a giggle rising uncontrollably in his throat. “You real form?” He fought to keep the gales of laughter in, but failed. “What the hell is that? Why don’t you show me?”

“You are the one that trapped me in this form,” the giraffe replied coldly. “Why don’t you release me from this preposterous body and see me for what I really am then.”

“If I could do that, do you think I would be stuck in this dumpy body?”

“You chose it, not me,” the long necked animal snarked. “Just let me go back to normal, it’s been 8 years now.”

The giggles rose up again as Gerald tried to imagine what the giraffe might turn into. “Sure man, whatever floats your boat, turn into whatever you feel like.” He waved his hand dismissively, trying not to fall over from laughing so hard.

The night shimmered like a mirage for a second and the giraffe was suddenly not there anymore. Everything else stayed the same, the unblinking stars, the silent town, the frozen party-goers, but no four legged beast stood behind the fence.

“No thanks to you, maybe this is wearing off now.” Simon ignored him as he stood on tip toe to peer over the wooden privacy fence. “Jerry? You there?”

“What a relief!” Jerry’s voice from the other side of the barrier. “I thought I would never get back to myself, there was a fortuitous turnip harvest last year. The penguin is happy for midnight!”

“You’ll have to come around the fence, Jerry,” Simon gestured to the gate at the front of the yard. “It sounds like your translator is broken.”

“Cabbage porkchop!” Gerald heard from somewhere down near the ground in the next yard. “Gild wooden parsnip boat!”

“Watch your mouth,” Simon scolded as a shadow came around toward the gate. It was low and squat like a badger with the long rounded snout of a hippopotamus. “Cannelloni bagpipe depends?” the strange creature asked as it came into the circle of light.

“Because I am actually speaking in English, you twit.” Simon reached down and started fidgeting with a device around the animal’s neck. It gave a series of beeps and a purple light flashed three times before becoming a steady blue.

“Don’t have to be so smug about it,” the badger hippo replied once the collar was back in place. “It isn’t my fault I didn’t get to have fancy job as a lawyer. Like you did.”

“You, a mere pet?” The word Simon used was not pet, it sounded like a mashed up version of German rock band’s name, but something told Gerald that it meant pet.

“I am not a mere pet, thank you,” Jerry insisted. “I am also the best worm hole piolet this side of the Andromeda galaxy.”

“I have really had enough. If you will not take me back to my apartment, I will walk there. It is only 4 and half miles as the crow flies.” Gerald walked carefully passed Simon and the strange animal at his feet.

“Do be careful of the Tengu. They come out en masse on nights like this when time has been stalled. You should remember that, but I have a feeling you do not.” Gerald was starting to seriously dislike Simon.


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